Killer Stilettos

Going down the yellow brick road? Better call a cab!

Jimmy Choo Ruby Stilletto Shoes, #1466, from 2013-14 shoe season

By Susan Caba
The Resale Evangelista

These are not Dorothy Gale’s ruby slippers!

You know—Dorothy, aka Judy Garland—from the 1939 MGM movie Wizard of Oz. Her size 5 ruby slippers rose a towering two inches, were made of plastic, covered with sequins and topped with a dopey bow. Worn with blue ankle socks and a gingham dress, the overall effect was sedate. Well, okay, virginal.

These Jimmy Choo’s, from the 2013-14 shoe season, would have belonged to Dorothy’s slutty third cousin, if she had one. They are best described as lethal, on so many levels. I found them at The Women’s Closet Exchange in St. Louis. Originally priced around $800, the Closet Exchange had them for $299.

Dorothy’s ruby slippers would carry her back home to Kansas.  I’m positive these ruby stilettos never carried anyone anywhere. The soles were barely scuffed, and no wonder. I’m sure the original owner was borne to her destination on a palanquin and was able to stand for a mere 30 seconds, if that.

I have always had red high heels—they’re a wardrobe staple, in my opinion. But never like these. There has never been an occasion, public or private, in my life which called for ruby stilettos encrusted with crystals. I can’t tell you how sorry I am to make that admission!

Sigh.

If only I hadn’t sworn off profligate spending, I might have bought them for their sculptural value. Or as weapons in case of a break-in. Sadly—or luckily—some woman richer or more adventurous than I has already added these to her collection. Again, sigh…

The Resale Evangelista is dedicated to simplifying, clarifying and creating a more artful life. She’s not sure how these shoes would fit that criteria. However, they were too juicy not to share.

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